When our daughter was born my wife was all about breastfeeding her. On my wife birth plan, it specifically stated NO sugar water, and NO pacifiers. we didn’t want my daughter to end up with nipple confusion. I was going to make sure that I waited the two weeks for her latch to be fully established. Well, about 4 days of her crying made me reconsider. Call me weak if you will.

That tiny little baby will be two in April, and it is a rare occasion to see a picture of him without his paci. Every single person he doesn’t see on a daily basis rips it out of his mouth as soon as they see him. Let me just get this out there: yes, I understand the whole dental impact. Does he keep it in his mouth all day long? No. He uses it when he naps, goes to sleep, and when we are somewhere he is unsure of. It is his “security blanket.” Am I working on getting rid of it? Yes, but PLEASE let me do so at OUR own pace.

Since he is having a hard time giving it up, I thought it would be a lot of fun to write about ways to get rid of a pacifier. These are meant to be sarcastic, so please don’t take this as real advice…but if you try it, and it happens to work… you’re welcome